Out of Grief Comes Joy
Thursday, June 7th, 2007
We all learned to deal with grief in our own ways - some good, some bad. I tend to package it up and lock it away both physically and emotionally. That is not one of the good ways to handle things.
Back in February 2003, my mother, Dianna Scott died of complications from back surgery. My family is all in Michigan, while I live in Texas.
Mom was only 65 years old and dad at 82 was showing signs of senility; it was very hard on all of us. My sister Kelly, brother Ray, and myself had enough guilt passing back-and-forth to last the rest of our lives!
Adding to this horrible situation, my dear friend and partner Flo died five months before, and my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia hit the previous summer. A week after I came back from Michigan my position building Web sites at the Creative division of a marketing company was downsized. I think I was personally redefining extreme depression.
I had to channel this crushing grief into something positive!
For the previous few months, I had been kicking around an idea for a new wall hanging pattern but nothing was really gelling. Waking straight up one night, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
My folks loved to dance. I mean they LOVED to DANCE! They even met at a dance for goodness sake. Dad was also a professional drummer and an excellent pastel and charcoal artist, and while I would like to take a little credit for getting some of his talent, I can’t as he adopted me. Mom always swore we were so much alike at time we drove her nuts. Thanks Dad!
I emailed two of my cousins about the new pattern idea with the addition of a ‘this is a secret-don’t tell a soul’ warning.
I first bombarded them with all the individual dancer sketches, then the completed dancer designs. Next up were colored versions of the nine dancers. We moved on to the fabric versions: appliqué dancer pieces fused together… then satin stitch… then hand beaded…. then with sashing added…. then all the quilt blocks sewn together.
This incredibly detailed process was exactly what I needed - of course, I didn’t realize that at the time.
In hindsight, I’m surprised my cousins put up with all of that overkill, but at times Tam and Doe know me better then I know myself. Once in a while you just luck out with the family you get.
I took the completed top to a professional for quilting and Richard did an incredible job: in a word - stunning.
Once the actual pattern was ready, immediate family members received their copy in the mail. No explanatory letter was in the package as words were not necessary, simply the pattern.
My aunt Jeanette made a beautiful version for my aunt Judy - Mom’s sister - from fabrics almost identical to the original. We cried a lot of those good, cleansing tears.
Dianna’s Dance hangs in my upstairs hall - I pass it 15 or 20 times a day and it never fails to make me smile. Dad passed in November of 2005 so my folks are finally able to go dancing again, but now it’s across all those clouds; you’re talking about a really big dance floor.
If I listen real close I can hear her: “Ray, would you please slow down, you know my legs aren’t that long…”
See! Lots to talk about. And yes we want you to join in too… it’s not fun with only one of us talking.
