Anyway, I was going through the newest one and came to the mannequin section. Most are full-size, to scale (remember that – to scale) with the head included. Men, womens, and children’s for store clothing displays.

I scanned two images to share with you – I found them particularly interesting for a number of reasons I’ll explain in a bit.

Now, think about going into your favorite store and seeing an outfit on a display mannequin: you love it! You track down your size and hurry into the fitting room. Five minutes later you’re looking at yourself in the mirror and wondering what you’re doing wrong. This outfit doesn’t look anything like it did on the mannequin!

And my friends, the odds are it never, ever will look like it did on the mannequin. Here are the images I scanned.

Be sure you read the ‘stats’ beneath each image – I took it directly from their descriptions. Oh there were also an equal amount of size 4 models, but I couldn’t even force myself to scan those too. Just curious here, but how many of your friends are 5′-11″ with those measurements? Yeah, I came up with about the same amount: little more then 0, but less then 1.

Then there’s the Plus-Size model; someone want to let me know when a size 12-14 – a 14 by-the-way is the Average size of a woman living in the US – was moved into a plus-size category? Don’t forget she too is 5′-11″ tall. Oh and did you get a good look at her ’shape’? What part of plus-size are you seeing? I’m seeing someone very thin, with no stomach or hips, thin arms, legs and big boobs that will never sag.

And we wonder why clothes don’t look the same on us! NOT.

Want to know what a size 14 really looks like? Well here you go: 5′-5″, 51 years old, and a size 14.

And here’s another view – I keep saying Rubens would have just loved me!

Personally, I like curves… these ‘fantasy driven‘ manufacturers can have their mannequins, I think I’ll just keep on sewing clothes that flatter me; did I mention I really like curves?

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Do you know what’s on at that time of the night/morning? Infomercials! Lots and lots of infomercials. And while some of them are really quite innocent and even entertaining, there are others that are such blatant ‘truth-by-omission’ shows, that I find myself saying ugly things to the TV screen.

Today oh gentlewomen, we’re going to talk about the ones that truly irk me to no end – the instant slimming foundation garments. Nothing is as flattering as a well-fit garment, and you need well-fitting foundation under-garments to help achieve that… but that isn’t what appears to be happening in these situations.

I am going to go into more detail on what constitutes a good fitting garment in another column, today, I feel the urge to vent.

Way Back When

Looking back in history women have always been shoved into forms that were suppose to make us look better. Please note it wasn’t to make us look better for us, but for someone else. The more debilitated the woman was by her wardrobe the higher in standing she was seen to be, the greater her authority and her appeal. More beautiful by extreme impairment – how warped is that?

• Leather and Iron Corsets
• Whale Bone Corsets – it could have as many as 40 bones in it
• Wooden Curved Busk Corsets – pushed everything to the tummy area
• Straight Busk Corsets – these put pressure over the kidneys
• Girdles – industrial strength girdles
• Pause for the 60’s & 70’s when complete freedom took over – not always a good thing
• Shaping Garments – no bones, just heavy duty elastic materials

Today’s Tricks

The Infomercials I’ve watched all tout their products as the solution to badly fitting clothing. Wrong!

First they bring out these women of different ages, and shapes all carrying more pounds then they should; in some cases a lot more then is healthy. To a person, the clothing they are wearing is at least 1-size too small – I’d lay odds on some of it being 2-sizes too small. In addition many of the styles and fabrics are vastly unsuited to the wearers body shape. Clingy knits, skimpy pants, and form-fitting tops, hard to image more ill-suited choices.

When quizzed on what they’d like changed the answers are always:

• The rolls around my waist/waistband
• The rolls around my bra
• The flab on my back
• The bulging tummy
• The panty lines (under my skin tight white unlined pants!)

The host of the program hands the victi.. I mean guest, a ’shaper’ to put on. The woman is about a size 22, the full body shaper (made out of some miracle stretch material) is about 8″ across. Yeah, just image trying to wiggle into that thing. But before she’s allowed to go, they take measurements!

So how many of you would go on national TV and have your measurements broadcast to the world? Me neither!

Time passes and the woman returns thrilled with her new look. Now those way-too-small clothes fit more comfortably. They’re still the wrong style, but they no long look like they’re going to rip completely apart with the slightest movement. Of course I don’t know how many of them even can move – I’m not exaggerating to say the term ’stuffed sausage’ comes to mind.

Another question: Would you wear a shoulder-to-knee ’shaper’ under your jeans and top? Aren’t jeans suppose to be comfortable?

I know I sound positively demented but – work with me for a moment – wouldn’t it make more sense to:

1. Buy or make clothing that fits your size (not size number – size)
2. Wear the correct styles to flatter your shape
3. Question why you have this extra stuff on your body, and then maybe do something about getting rid of some – or all of it, permanently

These shows are a prime example of preying on a womans insecurities and promising a quick-fix that doesn’t work.

Want to learn more about Infomercial Scams? Here’s the best site on the net for that – as the consumers posts the reviews “Infomerical Scams“. Need to firm up, drop a few pounds, or just feel good about yourself again, try Leslie Sansone’s walking programs; you can get them on eBay too. Or use Netflix to try them out first!

I feel better now.

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